Another Thread about Crapping at Work

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

I don't like the crapper at my new office. The one I always used to frequent is too far away now. The bathroom I use now is in a busy hallway and gets way too much traffic. I'm sick and tired of sitting on a warm toilet sit in a cloud of fresh shit fumes. But a lot of black people work where I do so there is funny stuff written on the stalls. In the stall I've been crapping in the most it says:

"TUPAC LIVE ON!"

"BIG POPPA IS GAY"

and my all time favorite:

"KILL WHITEY!!"

[wutang]

Cosmo you literally moved 20 feet away from your old office, I don't think there is any rule that you have to go to the closest bathroom. How long would it take you to walk to your old office, 10 seconds? I still use the one i like and I moved further then you, I guess I am just willing to travel.

[thebonabus]

My favorite bathroom scribble was back at Bonas. Might have been back in the Hick as I blew mud a ton there back in the day. Was something to the extent of on right side "Play Bathoorm Tennis: Look left"....on the left side "Look Right"...was very creative for some poor person stuck on the shitter.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

wutang said:

Cosmo you literally moved 20 feet away from your old office, I don't think there is any rule that you have to go to the closest bathroom. How long would it take you to walk to your old office, 10 seconds? I still use the one i like and I moved further then you, I guess I am just willing to travel.

It's further than 20 feet, and the old office was in between the two bathrooms. Now the old bathroom is a long trip. If I'm going to travel that far, I can probably find a better bathroom than that one. Maybe tomorrow I'll search for the perfect bathroom here. I just hope I can find a stall in that bathroom that an angry black guy has been writing stuff in.

[s dot carter]

When I work I like to print out Sports Guy articles and bring them to the can. However, I am shady about letting any of my co-workers know I'm about to drop a duece, so its always a game of hiding the printed article in my shirt and trying to sneak into the shitter. I also like to be alone and will hold the shitty farts until another bathroom participant leaves. This usually results in a nice loud fart and a more refreshing poop experience.

[mikenice]

The $hitter's in the basement of Plassman had all kinds of stuff written on the stalls.

Some of the ones I remember:

"My girlfriend's giving me fellatio as I write this"

"Fifth street gangstas" or thugz, can't remember.

and wu should know this lyric by Biggie:

"Big up, big up, it's a stick up, stick up
and I'm shootin ni**as quick if you hiccup"

I "worked" in the computer labs, so when I worked in the Plassman labs I always deuced in the basement. I read that lyric for months. Then one day in the BV I see that the University is investigating two racial slurs scribbled on campus. One in a dorm hall, and the other in a Plassman bathroom. Sure enough, next time I go to deuce, that lyric is erased, but you can still read it.

Talk about overreacting.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

mikenice said:

The $hitter's in the basement of Plassman had all kinds of stuff written on the stalls.

Some of the ones I remember:

"My girlfriend's giving me fellatio as I write this"

"Fifth street gangstas" or thugz, can't remember.

and wu should know this lyric by Biggie:

"Big up, big up, it's a stick up, stick up
and I'm shootin ni**as quick if you hiccup"

I "worked" in the computer labs, so when I worked in the Plassman labs I always deuced in the basement. I read that lyric for months. Then one day in the BV I see that the University is investigating two racial slurs scribbled on campus. One in a dorm hall, and the other in a Plassman bathroom. Sure enough, next time I go to deuce, that lyric is erased, but you can still read it.

Talk about overreacting.

I used to work in the Philosophy department in basement Plassman. I probably should have quoted work also, as I did no work. I read or did my homework. Sometimes a teacher would leave me some stuff to print for him. More times than not I left it for the girl who came in after me. I would always make up some lame excuse like the machines were all being used, or broken or some shit. I don't remember the bathrooms down there though. Must be my crapping didn't coincide with my "work" hours.

[s dot carter]

I jerked off into a toilet in Plassmann once in the middle of an 8:30 Natty World class because I was bored to death and starting to get a stiffy for no reason. That just reminded me of 7th grade when we called those NORB's (NO Reason Boners).

Anyways, is there something wrong with me for roughin' up the suspect during classtime?

[wutang]

I think I heard about them investigating the racial slurs but I never knew it was ust a Biggie verse. I bet they will solve that mystery as soon as they figure out who ran over the bushes.

Cosmo try the bathroom two floors up from the one you visit in front of the Directors office, it's a whole different world compared to the other ones and is worth a field trip.

[vinnypunditsheros]

I had broadcast reporting class in the Koop Lab for two semesters senior year. Tuesday and Thursday from 8:30-12. Since Wednesday had the draft drink specials, there was more than one occasion I had to drop heat during that lengthy class. That's why I called the Murphy men's room the Poop Lab.
One morning in the Poop Lab I finished my business and stood up. To my unpleasant surprise, a tiny nugget fell from my ass onto the seat of my khaki shorts. I quicky grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, but there was a shit mark. I tried wiping it off, but all it did was smear. So now I had a shitty smudge mark on the seat of my shorts.
So... I pulled my shorts up Urkel-style and sprinted as fast as I could back to the townhouses. One side of campus to the other. I ran into my room and found a nearly identical pair of shorts and put them on (I didn't want to explain why I changed clothes in the middle of class... that would have been awkward). Then I sprinted back. Nobody was the wiser, but I was sweating my balls off.

[vinnypunditsheros]

Do you think Chewbacca gets dingleberries?

[mikenice]

Drove down to Maryland this weekend to visit some family. Got fuckin hammered friday night, woke up at 6:30 to drive 6 hours through rain. My sister drove the whole way.

I dropped a pretty nice deuce half towards the bottom of NJ. About an hour later, as soon as we got into MD I felt the big one coming. I hate shitting in a foreign toilet, but rest area bathrooms? I took the most heinous deuce of my life in the Maryland House. I layered like a solid nest of toilet paper and then two of the tissue paper seat covers on top of that.

I tried to get some Big Boy or Roy Rogers, but that place is packed at noon on a Saturday.

Cosmo, Wu and the other DC area guys, I imagine you've stopped at the Maryland house. I've probably been about 20+ times on trips, and I always want to drag someone to eat at Bob's Big Boy with me. Anybody ever eat there? No one lets me go when we road trip.

[bonafide]

Just awesome! Unfortunately when ProBoards took down BevelWagon One the thread I started about 'Most Memorable Shit' went with it.

I don't think that an EXALT will do you much good so here's another SMITE to add to your record total.

Aloha!

[mrsmiff]

The big unmarked unisex at on the first floor of Rob used to be my favorite place to shit. Nobody new about it and there was never anyone in there. The best part though was the writing on the wall in the stall i always used. The best line was "I just shit out my boyfriends load"
What a classy girl.

[southhampton]

mrsmiff said:

"I just $hit out my boyfriends load"

EXALT for that quote and 1st floor rob bathroom