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Post by bonafide on Aug 3, 2006 5:15:15 GMT -5
Aloha Bevelator dudes!
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Post by CosmonautLaunchPad on Aug 3, 2006 7:01:46 GMT -5
Aloha!!
Glad you found us! We were getting worried. We need to work out a emergency plan for Bevelators should this type of crap happen again in the future. I don't suppose you have any of your great Ganja Cream Ale induced posts saved anywhere do you?
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Post by wutang on Aug 3, 2006 7:53:15 GMT -5
Aloha!
I was just thinking we need a backup plan as well, maybe Cosmo can just keep a copy of the email addresses people used to sign up with outside of this board so that an email can go out if this happens again. Or we could just create an entire back-up board. No fancy features or anything just somewhere to meet up if this happens again.
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Post by bonafide on Aug 3, 2006 8:35:50 GMT -5
Ummmm... I kinda saved some of 'em in Word 'cause when I write 'em I'm progressively fucked up on de ganja and Genny Cream Ale and they get well kinda unreadable so I have to kinda fix the fuckers up when I get unbent. So here's a couple of rememberances about that dumbass mf spade Cadillac......
I'm havin' a mf flashback and I'm back up in Quang-fucking-Tri the geography of which is that North Vietnam .......which includes the ENTIRE goddam North Vietnmaese army.... is like only 25 miles away. So I'm roosting in Quang-fucking-Tri with the 1st brigade/5 Mechanized ID and there's this spade called Cadillac who's in the squad. Now the thing is that in the army back then in the Nam everybody had a nickname..so much so that most folks never got to know a dude's real first name. Now the other thing is that all the grunts in the army in the 'Nam were
either spades, puerto ricans or mexicans and had like 8th grade educations. Except for me. So go figure that shit out. I mean I been tryin' to for over 35 years. That draft shit just wasn't
right. Anyway, Cadillac got his nickname 'cause he was from Detroit where he worked as janitor in the GM Cadillac plant. Actually Cadillac was originally from Kociusko, Mississippi which is this small completely total shithole kinda like Quang-fucking-Tri was. Except that Cadillac kept calling Kociusko...KOSKO. Now how the fuck could anyone get KOSKO from Kosciusko? But Cadillac swore it was true. Another thing was that everybody had all these slogans and shit written all over their helmets and uniforms. The most popular slogan was FTA (Fuck The Army) but anything else was perfectly OK. I saw stuff like CUNTDOG, MICKEY MOUSE, FUCK YOU, 'NAM SUCKS, etc. etc.. Cadillac had "TIME ON MY SIDE" written on his helmet then the names of the months he had left until DEROS (getting the fuck out of Vietnam). It was actually kind of sad 'cause Cadillac couldn't spell worth a shit and he spelled months like December ....DESAMBLR and January.....JINALALRY. Like I said..fucking sad. He did ok with May though. Anyway, Cadillac took a liking to me which was unusual 'cuse I was a FNG (fucking new guy) which was pretty much being a liability 'cause a FNG really didn't know shit and I mean the job was like kind of, uh, hazardous to begin with. I mean mechanized infantry meant that we rode around in armored personnel carriers (tracks) and tanks and shit like that and then we would get out of them (dismounted infantry) and look to mix it up with Charles.
First off, it was a NVA regular that Cadillac winged not a Numbah 10 VC. VC were like guerilla fighters while the NVA were soldiers in North Vietnam's army. Anyway, Cadillac did scream CHEW HOY MUVAFUCKA! about the same time as he took the shots that winged the dink. But you gotta figure that Cadillac was a spade from Kociusko, Mississippi plus the dumb motherfucker couldn't even properly pronounce the name of where he was from. So you combine Cadillac's accent with his, uh, vast knowledge of the Vietnamese dialect and you might suspect what the gook actually heard. Anyway, the problem really was the .38 caliber Smith & Wesson Combat Masterpiece (of shit) that Cadillac used to shoot the dink. Cadillac got the piece (of shit) off a dead slope a couple of months before...which really fucking says something right there about the effectiveness of the piece (of shit). But Cadillac loved the gun and used to spend hours cleaning it and polishing it and playing fast-draw and constantly talking about "my muvafuckin' Combat Masterpiece (of shit)." But what really almost got our asses greased that day was Cadillac's absolute love of C a n a d i a n Club whiskey and gook pussy."Gotsta gets me a coupla CCs and somes muvafuckin' dink trim," was my man's eloquent invitation to accompany him in sashaying about the countryside. Fuck. You gotta understand that Quang Tri was like only 20 miles from the DMZ….. and the ENTIRE NORTH VIETNAMESE GODDAM ARMY. Cadillac and me lurking about up near the DMZ looking for pussy would probably be today’s equivalent of taking a Humvee (another piece of shit) out on the town in Baghdad some dark night looking for tail. But…… shit…. pussy is pussy…. “gotsta haves it”…as my man would frequently relate. Anyway, the other two items that Cadillac really loved were KOOL menthol cigarettes and Miller High Life beer. “Gimme boxa KOOL and somes movafuckin’ Miller High Life” I recall Cadillac politely requesting hundreds of times in scores of different venues.
Now Cadillac’s job on our track was to run the .50 cal which was like mounted on top of the sumbitch. Cadillac loved the .50 cal but not as much a he loved “my muvafuckin’ Combat Masterpiece.” Anyway a .50 cal is a pretty awesome weapon. The bullet like weighs about half a pound and the sumbitch fires about 500 bullets a minute. Tear up some gook ass for damn sure. So maybe we get in a little shit. Well, Cadillac would first let fly with the .50 cal and then later start yelling at the top of his lungs “CHEW HOY MUVAFUCKAS” “CHEW HOY MUVAFUCKAS” which was kinda oxymoronic ‘cause gooks can’t really surrender good if their dead.
Anyway, so that’s the story about the NVA regular that Cadillac winged in the shanty bar
while we were lurking about the countryside up near the DMZ looking for dink pussy,
“boxa KOOL and somes CCs and Miller High Lifes.” The NVA regular asshole just
plain ruined the whole trip. But, what the fuck…….. I mean things coulda’ turned out a
whole lot worse.
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Post by vinnypunditsheros on Aug 3, 2006 8:54:19 GMT -5
Those stories were just as good as the first time I read them, Bonafied. EXALTED! I can't picture Cadillac out looking for "girl thingy." That and the helmet that says BonnieballDOG are reasons censorship should not happen. I'm glad you found us.
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Post by CosmonautLaunchPad on Aug 3, 2006 10:12:39 GMT -5
Aloha! I was just thinking we need a backup plan as well, maybe Cosmo can just keep a copy of the email addresses people used to sign up with outside of this board so that an email can go out if this happens again. Or we could just create an entire back-up board. No fancy features or anything just somewhere to meet up if this happens again. I think the Backup Board is a good idea. Kind of a fallout shelter in case anything should happen to this one. And people would probably prefer that rather than me keeping everyone's emails on file. |
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Post by heemeehead on Aug 3, 2006 14:02:25 GMT -5
Bonfide, I am glad you are back.
These have been trying times, but we have passed the test. The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger. The war is over. The Separatists have been defeated, and the Jedi rebellion has been foiled. We stand on the threshold of a new beginning."
— Palpatine
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Post by The Dull House on Sept 8, 2006 8:04:38 GMT -5
hi
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Post by bonafide on Sept 9, 2006 0:15:33 GMT -5
Naaaahhhhh.!This thread moved to the rear pages over the weeks but I'm kinda glad that The Dull House brought it back cuz THE FILTERS SUCK. Look at the stuff I wrote about Cadillac for BevelWagon 1 quite awhile ago. I mean the stuff is almost unreadable with all the filters. And honestly, General Tso's chicken may be funny at first but trying to get through that and all the other various filter-generated replacement words has become a real chore. And that's not the way us Bevelators talk anyway.
Can we move the whole shebang over to our own Bevelator controlled board? And then could we please get rid of the filters?
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Post by CosmonautLaunchPad on Sept 11, 2006 7:43:28 GMT -5
Naaaahhhhh.!This thread moved to the rear pages over the weeks but I'm kinda glad that The Dull House brought it back cuz THE FILTERS SUCK. Look at the stuff I wrote about Cadillac for BevelWagon 1 quite awhile ago. I mean the stuff is almost unreadable with all the filters. And honestly, General Tso's chicken may be funny at first but trying to get through that and all the other various filter-generated replacement words has become a real chore. And that's not the way us Bevelators talk anyway. Can we move the whole shebang over to our own Bevelator controlled board? And then could we please get rid of the filters? I think this has been covered, and unless anyone has learned how to build a private message board I don't seen any reason to get into it again. If some of the filters are getting old, it can be put to a vote to remove them, but something else will have to be put in it's place otherwise there will be a whole lot of unfiltered F bombs on this thing. |
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Post by oleanron on Sept 11, 2006 11:15:30 GMT -5
Like I said, I kind of like the filters. I think saying General Tso's Chicken instead of f*** is hilarious.
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Post by mikenice on Sept 11, 2006 13:37:54 GMT -5
I agree with bonafide a bit. It's really tough to read some of this stuff. Fuck is a fine filter. It's just when there's too many of them and they don't clearly make sense is when it's tough.
If a couple filters are known slang for whatever we're censoring it would be better. I'm going to fuck the shit out of her pussy and sodomize her asshole.
While pretty funny... if you're new to the board this might drive you away for not knowing what the hell we're talking about.
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Post by s dot carter on Sept 11, 2006 13:41:19 GMT -5
agreed mikenice about if you are new to the board. Maybe we can have a sticky thread with the censored words and what they mean. We can just edit it when we change the filters. What do you think?
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333
Bevel in Training
Posts: 17
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Post by 333 on Sept 11, 2006 14:49:57 GMT -5
I find it quite entertaining to read threads and try to decide wheter I'm reading filters or actual slang that has come into the language while I've been growing old. I've adopted a few and use them now because even if they are filters they still fit quite well.
Also, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over driving anyone away. The people that will driven away are probably already gone.
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