Who's gonna be the first Bevelator...

[mikenice]

To have a child that has mental health issues???

It's going to happen. And it may happen to many of us unless we work out the bad karma.

With that said, is the child fair game to be made fun? And can we use his or her pictures?

[vinnypunditsheros]

It's obviously going to be Cosmo.

But don't worry buddy. I promise I won't make fun of your retarded kid. No, I probably will. But if I have a retarded kid too, let's race them for everyone's amusement.

That goes for everyone: the first two Bevelators to have retarded children have to race them. We can even make an obstacle course like Double Dare for extra hilarity. They'll keep searching for the flag in the chocoalte pudding, but of course there's no flag. It's been removed. The final obstacle has to be the Super Sundae Slide because a retard trying to climb up a sloppy slide would be fantastic. I'm going to daydream about that for a bit.

[s dot carter]

If we weren't doomed to have a bunch of retards already, this thread is the icing on the cake.

[oleanron]

Well, I always said that I won't make fun of mentally retarded kids. I'm not a superstitious person, but I do believe that karma will bite you in the ass eventually. There is one exception, though: Corky. As I've said before, I worked with a woman who used to do publicity for ABC when "Life Goes On" was on the air. Anyway, she said that Corky was such a dick, and he was walking around like he owned the place. What gives him that right? He's fucking Corky!

I also will make fun of actors playing mentally retarded people. Like so:

[vinnypunditsheros]

It was just a goof, Ron. I don't really want to race retarded kids up Super Sundae Slide.

Even so, karma cannot be against me on this. Let me explain why: Throughout my stint at Bonnies, my summer job was working as a personal aide for special ed summer school. My second summer there, I worked with a fifteen year old kid who had spinal bifita. He was fully functional from the waist up but had no use of his lower body. Three times a day I had to change his diaper.

Now, I have no problem with changing diapers. But there's just something unsettling about changing a fully developed, overweight teenage boy's diaper. Well, my first day with the kid I was hung over as all hell. After all, it was summer vacation and I was a college student.

So I find out I have to change this kid's diaper. I bite the bullet and bring him to the nurse's office. He climbs up on the table using his arms and takes off his pants and rips off his diaper. He shit himself. I clean him up as he talks to me about the Bills. This made things worse, because not only am I cleaning up his shitty ass, he's trying to have a conversation with me while I do it. Then he asks for a catheter, and I wince as he sticks it in his weiner.

Finally, he's all cleaned up and grabs his legs so I can slide a clean diaper under him. That's when shit started leaking out of his ass. I grunt "Ugh..." and look away, sickened. He asks, "What, am I going?"
I say, "Yeah. Yeah, you're going."
I look at his face and it's purple. I think, "Aw. Poor kid's embarrassed. As bad as this is for me, it's got to be that much worse for him. He's got to have some dude he doesn't even know wipe his ass."

That's when a stream of liquid shit came shooting out of his ass, onto and passed the diaper, and onto the table. He wasn't embarrassed; he'd been pushing it out. The kid stunk up the whole nurse's office. I cleaned that up, gave him yet another diaper, and brought him upstairs. He shit himself once more that day.

So my first day there my second year, working with a one helluva hangover, I had to repeatedly change a fifteen year old boy's diarhea filled diaper. If that doesn't give me enough karma to crack an occasional 'tard joke, nothing will.

[s dot carter]

Vinny....

[oleanron]

Heh...I know it's a goof, dude. I don't get offended by anything. I actually kinda think it's funny. Not the actual pictures, mind you, but the fact that whenever someone fucks up on here, Cosmo gives him one.

[bonafide]

You should have put 3 Hanes briefs on that motherfucking 'tard. That would have fixed the problem. Pack of 6 Hanes briefs= $7.99 at WalMart. Wal-Mart quality Hanes briefs are guaranteed shart-proof. BTW, I sharted again the other day in Chicago. Spent an evening at Harry Carray's scarfing a monster steak and plenty of Genny Cream Ales. Was in a cab on the way back to the hotel and my stomach is rumbling like a mf. Figured I'd make it back and up to the room in time to unload. Motherfuck if I didn't shart right there in the middle of the hotel lobby. Hanes briefs contained the mess beautifully. Underpant was completely unbreached.

I would recommend Hanes briefs uniequivocally to the Bevelators.

Aloha!