Election Day

[s dot carter]

VS

[vinnypunditsheros]

Although I am more familiar with $ymmetry, I had to vote Tan Man.

Someone on here wrote how he screams when he lifts in the weight room, but my brother told me he won't do it if there's a black guy there too.

[thebonabus]

I had to vote $ym for two reasons:
1. I am more familiar with his stances on global warming, abortion, seperation of church and state, stem cell research, taxes, 'roids, rapping, boning and tanning and blau-blau-ing
2. How can you not vote for a guy who goes to high school proms (see s dot's post) and has the possibility of showing up on Dateline's "To Catch a Predator"

[southhampton]

Wow im stumped. Im going to have to go with tan-man because i am more familiar with him but this could go either way.

[s dot carter]

Its really close. Let's lay it out:

Symmetry was a roided up lunatic who loved to lift weights in the mirror and ask rhetorical questions like "Why am I so big?" He was, however, a pretty nice kid for most of undergrad. He was just crazy at that point. But once most of us graduated while he stayed for a fifth year, we came back two months into school to find out he was a rapper name Symmetry with a CD available for purchase. Naturally, we had to buy it.

At that point he was a huge joke, and when Willsey rap battled him in the basement of 5th street and embarrassed the shit out of Sym, it was over. Several months later he stole and X-Box, got tossed from Bonnies and the rest, they say, is history.

Tan Man is not known nearly as well by the Symmetry era Bevelators but we've gotten to know him well. Amazing, Tan Man and Sym have more in common then they have differences. Both love themselves and working out in front of mirrors. Both have the most unnatural tans in male history. And both apparently LOVE Superman, probably because they feel they are each indeed Super men.

Tan Man lifts weights and says "Doin' it for the pussy", which is only made douchier (and funnier) by the news he doesn't say that when black guys are around. He rolls not with a posse of wiggers, rappers and Peurto Ricans, but with a crew of little white dudes who work out and look like they'd lick the sweat of Tan Man's sack after a lift. He's almost as orange as the Umpa Lumpas and girls apparently dog him constantly.

Maybe those who know Tan Man better can delve into his persona a little deeper, but its no question this vote will come down to the wire. I'm still undecided.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

I'll express my vote in rap battle format:

If yer votin' for Tan Man, you must be a dork
you must not see Symm's entire body of work
The asshat wrote a song called "Bonaventure dis"
as a bona alumni board, how can we ignore this?
and on top of that xbox and credit cards he stole
motha f**cka is a walkin, talkin ad for birth control.
so when it comes to douche of the year here on the bevel,
Tan Man is good, but he just ain't on $ymm's level.

[southhampton]

Cosmo with that rhyme you are really showing your age
When i was at Bona's Tan - Man was all the rage
"Doing it for the pussy", you cant make that shit up
and Tan-Man's steroid use guarantees him a child sized cup
$ym was a giant douche and that is a well known fact
But he never got scared in the presence of a man who was black
And $ym was one man,but tan-man inspired a crew
This is one case where the sequel is better than the debut

[oleanron]

I'm undecided. They both seem to have committed acts of douchebaggery. $ym seems like a genuine fuck-up, but Tan Man reminds me of the gel-slathering, tan-spraying, Drakkar-smelling, Sergio Tocchini-wearing douchebags I used to see at the clubs and bars on Long Island in the early 90s. I actually have one of those douchebags to thank for one of the greatest hook-ups in my entire life. This asshole thought that the best way to get a girl was to tell her that he "wanted to lick her armpit." After several such comments, I swooped in, pretending to be an old friend of hers, rescuing her from this asshole. Later on, we found ourselves in an empty parking lot.

Thanks, douchebag!

[s dot carter]

OleanRon swung the vote for me. Tan Man is the prototypical douchebag that I hate. Symmetry is a douchebag, but at least he was original about it. Tan Man is just like every douchebag meathead on that MTV Real Life: Jersey Shore show. They all look like this dude:

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

Well, it's a free country and I guess I can't change anyone's vote. Maybe it is because I knew $ymmetry more, but to me, he actually committed more solid acts of douchebaggery, and nobody save for a few manuerisms and quotes have been able to give an example of what Tan Man has done to deserve the award.

[The Dull House]

I agree, i mean Symmetry says Blau and does crazy stuff of which i've mentioned a million times. He also stole Xbox's and commited acts of thievery against some on this board and then ratted out his friends. I think Sym wins.

[oleanron]

It was a difficult decision, but in the end, I went with...$ymmetry! The dude stole an Xbox. That's such an act of douchebaggery.

[wutang]

If I remember correctly there was also computer stuff and digital cameras he stole including the famous blockbuster card that got him bagged later on. Does anyone know for sure if he actually wore a wire to get his friends arrested too and him out of it? That was the rumor but since when does the local police have that type of equipment?

[mrsmiff]

As an entering freshman in Fall 2002, I have been blessed enough to know alot about both Sym and TanMan.

Although I truly despise TanMan and how much he loves himself, he never stole $hit from people. Sym gets my vote since he should be in jail.

[bonafide]

I wanna do a write-in vote for Mary Boyle.