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Post by bonafide on Sept 25, 2006 19:28:06 GMT -5
I was in this convenience store a couple of hours ago buying some Genny Cream Ale to drink up tonight. Problem was that I already had a 40 of the shit before I went out to get more.
So I'm in the line at the cash register trying to hold onto like four 40's and my stomach is rumbling like a motherfucker from the 40 I had just drunk up. Anyway, I couldn't hold it in anymore so I let go with this massive, awesomely beer/shit smelling fart. Well, nobody in the checkout line says anything so I figure nobody noticed and I'd skated but then there's like 5 year old little kid someplace in back of me in the line with his mother who yells out "MOMMY IT SMELLS LIKE CHUCK E CHEESE IN HERE!"
After I got home and quaffed another 40 I got to thinking that maybe laying down a fart, even an uncontrolled and inadvertent fart, in the vicinity of a child might be considered child abuse.
So I thought that I'd ask my fellow Bevelators for their opinions.
Aloha!
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Post by CosmonautLaunchPad on Sept 25, 2006 21:38:04 GMT -5
"It smells like Chucky Cheese in here." That must have been one hell of a fart. Sounds like that little shit liked it anyhow. And if not, fuck him if he can't take a joke.
EXALTED!!
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Post by southhampton on Sept 26, 2006 1:28:54 GMT -5
Even though your karma does not need it, I give you an exalt as well. Great story and from the sounds of it, great rip.
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juicey
Bevel Head
L-I-V-I-N
Posts: 63
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Post by juicey on Sept 26, 2006 4:44:00 GMT -5
I hooked up with this beast of woman my freshman year. The next morning, i wake up to her snoring loud as all hell. I couldn't sleep and wanted her out of my room immediately. So I went next door and started to throw a basketball against the wall, the bitch still wouldnt wake up. Next, i went back in the room and played some loud music.... still nothing. So finally I farted right on her head as she lay in a fetal position on my bed. I don't remember if that woke her up right away or not, but it was definatley short there after. Only time I had to farted directly on a woman, felt pretty good.
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Post by doogiehowsermd on Sept 26, 2006 14:55:22 GMT -5
Most of the things I post on this board are during my planning period at school. I sit there and just drop some of worst, backed up, held in farts as I am typing. I dropped one of my alltime worsts the other day, just before the bell rang before my next class. One fat kid was the first to arrive and sat down and began his assignment. The next thing I know the most popular girl in the 8th grade walks in next and says to him, "EWWWW did you fart!!!" I had to laugh inside to myself.
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Post by CosmonautLaunchPad on Sept 26, 2006 15:12:08 GMT -5
Most of the things I post on this board are during my planning period at school. I sit there and just drop some of worst, backed up, held in farts as I am typing. I dropped one of my alltime worsts the other day, just before the bell rang before my next class. One fat kid was the first to arrive and sat down and began his assignment. The next thing I know the most popular girl in the 8th grade walks in next and says to him, "EWWWW did you fart!!!" I had to laugh inside to myself. Ah, the most popular girl in 8th grade. I remember that grade. That magical grade when the girls start to really develop. Some do, some don't. I'm guessing the most popular girl has filled out nicely ahead of schedule. I'll probably get called a pervert again for my thoughts. |
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Post by doogiehowsermd on Sept 26, 2006 15:27:24 GMT -5
Pervert
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Post by wutang on Sept 26, 2006 15:27:54 GMT -5
I think that you are just fondly remembering when you were an 8th grade girl and experienced this first hand and not a pervert.
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Post by vinnypunditsheros on Sept 26, 2006 15:37:58 GMT -5
My friends and I used to laugh and make fun of the non-developed flat chested girl in eighth grade. One guy touched her nubs on an enchanted evening. We responded by drawing his picture with his hands on a brick wall. Kids can be so cruel.
I saw this girl over the summer. She'd developed. She also wouldn't talk to me.
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Post by doogiehowsermd on Sept 26, 2006 15:48:38 GMT -5
I once went up to a flat girl in lunch in 8th grade, being the 5 foot tall little rat that I was, and said, "Man, you got huge boobs". She punched me in the chest. I never officially counted that as getting beat up by a girl.
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Post by oleanron on Sept 27, 2006 16:43:05 GMT -5
This is actually very similar to an incident that happened about eight years ago.
My best buddy Shawn and I were in Office Depot right before Christmas. We were checking out paper shredders where there was this incredibly annoying six-year-old girl running around while her mother was doing jack shit. This is a pet peeve of mine. Watch your goddamn kids.
So the girl's yelling and screaming, and is playing with some appliance about fifteen feet away. Shawn lets out one of those combination hard-boiled egg/cheese fart. I immediately cover my nose as my friend starts snickering. Suddenly, fifteen feet away, we hear the little girl shout "EWWWWW!!!!! DOODY!!!!"
We ran out dying. It was his best work ever.
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Post by CosmonautLaunchPad on Sept 27, 2006 17:02:29 GMT -5
This is actually very similar to an incident that happened about eight years ago. My best buddy Shawn and I were in Office Depot right before Christmas. We were checking out paper shredders where there was this incredibly annoying six-year-old girl running around while her mother was doing jack poop. This is a pet peeve of mine. Watch your goddamn kids. So the girl's yelling and screaming, and is playing with some appliance about fifteen feet away. Shawn lets out one of those combination hard-boiled egg/cheese fart. I immediately cover my nose as my friend starts snickering. Suddenly, fifteen feet away, we hear the little girl shout "EWWWWW!!!!! DOODY!!!!" We ran out dying. It was his best work ever. Back in high school, a buddy of mine and I had a trick we used to do at K-Mart. They had the instructions clearly marked of what button to push on the aisle phones to do a store page or make an announcement. So we would go to the phone and I would get on and say, "Attention K-Mart shoppers, we have a special on flatulence in aisle 5. And then I would hand the phone off to my friend who could fart at will and he would cut one into the phone. It sounded great over the K-Mart loudspeakers. Then we would run out laughing our asses off. |
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mrsmiff
Bevelator
Some would say that the Earth is *our* moon.
Posts: 160
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Post by mrsmiff on Sept 27, 2006 20:02:15 GMT -5
Speaking of 8th grade boobs, here is a story.
When i was a Jr in HIgh school, my two best friends and I were bored on a friday night. We remembered hearing an announcement in school that day that chapperones were needed for the 7th grade activity night that evening. Being the perverts that we are, we volunteered and showed up at the middle school to check out some 13 yr old ass. It was pretty solid. I was very surprised at the amount of thongs that i saw the girls wearing. Some pretty nice racks too. See you all in hell.
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