Fucked Up

[s dot carter]

The following is from a website called MyDeathSpace.com. This site finds the MySpace pages of recently deceased and publishes the links and articles about their death for the world to see. They claim their goal is to help young people understand the dangers of drinking and driving, ect. However, there are often murder victims, accident victims, suicides, etc. as well.

This site is one of those dark but fascinatingly interesting websites where you feel guilty or weird the whole time you're looking at it, but at the same time saddened by how many young people die everyday in our country.

I've only visited this site maybe three times since I've heard about it a month or so ago, but each time I find myself reading article after article and have gone through about 20-25 pages of this site. Below is the most General Tso's Chickened up thing I've come across to date. It may sound weird to you, and if so, I apologize for sharing it. Just take it for what it is....something that should be totally private being broadcast to the whole world just because poeple but this poop on MySpace.


www.mydeathspace.com/deaths.aspx?ctl00_MainContent_Weblogs1_page=2

Logan Thomas Hendrix, 18 - Suicide - RIP Aug 11, 2006
Published: Fri, 15 Sep 2006
Suicide #64





Suicide Method: Undetermined
Age: 18
Location: Los Lunas, NM
Related Article(s): Ellie, the girl who broke his heart, Tribute Profile, Tribute Website, Letter to Ellie from Logan's Older Sister, Gregory, the "other man", Obituary, Death Notice

Suicide Note:
Thursday, August 10, 2006

this is the end
Current mood: crushed

this is the end for me, my suicide note, my world has ended, the woman i love has left me for another man, she has lied to me for a week... my friends amy and shawn moyer the only ones brave enough to tell me the truth, thank u. and to gregory, ur are an asswipe and when i see u in hell, i shall personally add to youre torture, and i shall be ur overseer in hell. godbye goodnight and i guess when i next see u guys again, it shall be in hell

i loved u with all my heart elli, and u shattered it bye lying to me if u had only told me the truth 3 days ago, nun of this would have happened, goodbye again

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Note from Logan's Older Sister, Star:

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Goodbye to my baby brother.
Current mood: guilty

Logan is indeed gone. He has left us all behind to pick up the pieces of his heartbroken, shattered life. So many questions left to be unanswered. So many "whys" and "what ifs"....

I am Logans sister..oldest sister..."Star".

I need to vent..to let out my anger and frustrations..to stop hating this child my brother was in love with. I say child because that is exactly what she is. You played my brothers emotions like a finly tuned violin and i will hate you every day from here until i can be with my brother again. He did nothing but love you, treasure you, adore you and you threw it all right back in his face. He is gone because of you and I will NEVER forgive you. I hope one day i can see and realize what it was about you that made him love you so deeply...so deeply that when you left him you took his life. I will never understand this.

I had to go identify him today. He is and always will be such a beautiful spirit. Even in death he has a beauty around him that no one will ever know. He is my baby brother. HE IS MY BABY BROTHER! I miss my baby brother.

For all of you that were good to Logan, I want to thank you..from all of us here. All of his family.

Logan has 3 neices & 2 nephews..all under the age of 10, that will never get to know what a beautiful person he is..was..

this is all still so sureal.

My baby brother is gone...but NEVER to be forgotten!

I love you Lo..so much..so much..i need you, i need to hold you, to hug you, to let you know that your life meant so much to so many..you will always be my baby.

Always with you...always thinking of you...and now forever missing you.

Star

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Ellie's Response:
oh believe me if i were you i'd go kill me and smash me into a wall. I hate myself too.. i loved him and i was gods mistake and i know no sorry will fix anything. I tried to take my life twice because i literally cant live with out him, and in my dreams i see him and i want to be where he is. I want to give up the world for him and i continue trying untill i get it right cause i have NO desire to live after this. I feel so hurt and the fact i hurt all his family and friends. I know you hate me I hate me too so dont feel bad about it.

Posted by //JuSt Me// on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 at 6:54 PM


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Star's Response to Ellie:

YOU of all people have NO right to even TRY and play this pity poop with me you General Tso's ChickenING filthy McNasty! YOU CHEATED ON MY BROTHER, LIED TO HIM, AND KILLED HIM! YOU DONT DESERVE ANY General Tso's ChickenING PITY AND CERTANLY WONT GET ANY FROM ME! I am NOT my mother nor my sister ..they have things I DONT..thats understanding, forgiveness..etc. IF YOU WANTED SO BADLY TO DIE THEN YOU WOULDNT BE ALIVE STILL! You are nothing but a game player. I have NO sympathy for you. The only reason I dont wish death upon you is because you have a child..and I would hate for your family to go through the pain we are all going through here.

Now grow the General Tso's Chicken up, get your head out of your ass and become a mother to the child my brother would have loved and adored if ever givin the chance. CHANGE YOUR LIFE, ELLI!

My brother loved you more than you could ever imagine and because he wasnt a General Tso's Chickening calvin klien model you poop on him! But yet he loved you, and I will always respect that. He ended his life because of the love he had for you..do something about it instead of this "waa waaa..i loved him..now let me TRY to kill myself by drinking a gallon of vodka..or slice my arm the wrong way for attention." pity game youre playing.

Leave my family alone. Please just leave us alone, Elli. PLEASE! Dont call Amber and tell her youre going to kill yourself..do you know how badly that freaked her and my mother out? I am sure youre hurting too, maybe even more so than we are..which you deserve to be..but QUIT BEING A SELFISH Bonnieball!

Elli you have to understand where my anger is coming from. I am his OLDEST sister. I am 10 years older..I wiped his ass..I was there for his first steps, his first words..he is my baby still. You know when he was 4 years old I had a real jerk boyfriend and he came into my room and would lay with me while I would cry over this guy. One day we were at a store and he grabbed my hand..at four years old..and told me.."sissy if any other guy ever hurts you I will beat him up!" When my ex-husband had an affair on me and I thought my world was coming down he was there to hold me and tell me I would be all right..but where was I when YOU CRUSHED HIS WORLD? I was 800 miles away. I WASNT THERE! I do hate you. I hate you much more than I could ever imagine hating anyone. But I dont wish death upon you. Infact I hope you live a long life..with him haunting your thoughts every second of every day.

One day I will forgive you, because I promised my brother I would. My revenge will be knowing that you will NEVER forgive yourself.

Do not show up to his service tomorrow. You are not wanted there..by me..

Star

[southhampton]

wow, thats pretty fucked


that girlfriend character is quite a cunt

[vinnypunditsheros]

That is really, really messed up.

My thoughts:

Mydeathspace is waaaaaay too morbid to visit. Learn about death or whatever, but the whole concept of a death website just seems wrong to me. Death should be taught by families when your grandmother dies, not web surfing.

This dildo killed himself over a girl? And posted his suicide note on MYSPACE?

Who the hell kills themselves? What a pussy. That is the ultimate selfish chicken shit way out. Think of your goddam family.

It sucks this girl cheated on him. But he's only 18. In high school. Break ups happen. We've all had a bad break up and it sucks. But you get over it and find somebody else.

He must have been a goth kid.

The sister and the girlfriend had THIS conversation on the dead brother's myspace account? They each need a swift kick to their respective horse Bonnieballs.

I creepilly chuckled at the bevelspeak substituted in the sister's response.

The sister's anger is misplaced. She should be pissed at her brother for being such a chicken-shit selfish pussy. He took his own life because he's a pussy. End of story.

[wutang]

That is a sad story. It is always hard for me to feel bad for the person that killed himself over a girl though. There will always be another girl deal with it. The people that I feel bad for is the family because look at the pain he has caused them for the rest of their lives all because of something as small as losing a girl at age 18. Sometimes life is tough but killing yourself is selfish.

i tried not to crack a smile when I read the sister call her a general tso's chickening filthy mcnasty, but I couldn't help it the filter is just funny when combined.

[doogiehowsermd]

I agree. Killing yourself is the chickenshit way out. He could have done what I did when my girlfriend broke up with me.....get FUBAR'd by myself. I was doing a "Power 2 Hour" on the couch in my parents house. Drank 13 and a half beers in that time. My brother came home from a night of boozing only to find his older brother passed out on the couch with half of a Molson Canadian Light still in hand.

[oleanron]

I'm no psychologist, but in my experience (and I have dealt with a suicidal friend or two) if someone commits suicide, they usually have deeper problems than one thing going wrong in their life. As much as I used it to antagonize the BANNEDWagon, I don't think that they nor Wickenheiser killed Bill Swann (although they certainly contributed to his death). It's ultimately the choice of the individual.

On a lighter note, here's another MySpace story. Make sure you read to the end:

web.archive.org/web/20021015152819/www.yil.com/features/feature.asp?Frame=false&Volume=08&Issue=07&Keyword=billiam&Page=01

[wutang]

Agreed that this couldn't be the only reason but still at 18 most problems are minor that go away or you get over that seem like a big deal at the time but really aren't. 18 is just too early to give up.

I like the Molson Filthy Canuck filter as well, I am going to start using that one.

[oleanron]

I agree with you, Wu, but remember when you were 18--the problems you had were the biggest things in the world. You don't have the perspective or experiences to understand that things get better. I'm not saying that this kid was justified or anything--he's not--but when you're a teen-ager, a zit signals the end of your world. I constantly tell my wife that I remember when life was simpler, when my biggest problems were learning my lines for a play or getting some girl to go out with me.

[wutang]

I know, and it's a shame that people can't see that or have someone to show them that. But reguardless there are still other people to think about when deciding to do something as drastic as that.

[mikenice]

Do you guys offer free candy and rent out movies, ala the counseling center at Bonaventure?

Need to talk? Come visit your pals Wutang and OleanRon. Second Floor of the RC.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

If I looked like Jabba the Hut I'd probably off myself too. There I said it. For crap's sake guys this is the BevelWagon not an appointment with your therapist.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

A girl cheated on me

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Bang!

He should have stopped looking for comfort at the bottom of a Ding Dong box.

[southhampton]

If i coult double EXALT i would cosmo, pure brilliance

haha 69 posts

[wutang]

mikenice said:

Do you guys offer free candy and rent out movies, ala the counseling center at Bonaventure?

Need to talk? Come visit your pals Wutang and OleanRon. Second Floor of the RC.

My avatar says it all.

[thebonabus]

It's sad when someone does kill themself, and this isn't any different. I agree the website thing is creepy and the maturity of the older sister is lacking. I understand how she blames the gf, but there is more behind it as Oleanron said earlier. Maybe there were other signs that were overlooked, but I agree the gf comes off poorly as well. Then again they are arguing over someone's death on a website instead of trying to be consoling/curtious/compasionate.

[The Dull House]

Cosmo! hahahahah you are one of the funniest kids i've ever met.

The kid needed to train in Hyperbolic time chamber. DING DONGS? IS THAT THE SECRET TO YOUR POWER KAKAROT?!?!

The dull "going to hell" House