South Buffalo

[vinnypunditsheros]

The perfect evening. After fiending for hockey I was flipping through the tv menu and discovered a Sabres replay on MSG. It was the season opener from last year. So I went to Stankeys and enjoyed a nice cold Genny. It was delicious.

[wutang]

Doesn't general tso's chicken usually contain MSG? or most Chinese food at least?

[vinnypunditsheros]

Ten hours ago, Molly McGuires...

I had heard stories of a retarded guy named Jimbo, but I never met him. Jimbo's not retarded in a Life Goes On way, but more like he'd be seen masterbating in the food court at the mall. He's just not all there. He's usually seen showing up at Molly's BENT, having a drink, and shitting himself. Literally shitting himself. He shits himself and it smells so bad all the patrons leave.

So last night I'm standing there when the bartender says to me, "Vinny, you remember that guy I told you about who comes in and shits himself? He just came in. We have to get him OUT OF HERE."
So first the "Go home Jimbo" chant starts. Being retarded, he's unfazed by this.

Then it gets kicked up a notch. A big guy named Tim Doyle throws his (plastic cup) jack and coke across the bar, hitting Jimbo in the head. Recent Bona grad John Davidson does the same. Soon, a barrage of plastic pints are either hitting this guy or sailing past his head. I have a glass pint of Yuengling, so I'm not doing a thing. Just enjoying the show. But that doesn't stop Jimbo from making eye contact with me and approaching me.

Now, I'm faced with a conundrum. What do I do if a retarded guy starts a fight with me? I haven't done anything, but he thinks I have. Jimbo gets in my face and I notice he needs a toothbrush. I decide I won't say or do anything unless he touches me. If he touches me, I'll punch him in the face. I don't consider myself Johnny Tough Guy, but I'll kick a retard's ass if he picks a fight with me.
Jimbo, still needing a toothbrush, demands to know why I threw all those drinks at him. I said I didn't, but it's because he shits himself at the bar every night and he needs to leave before he does so again. That's when he gets a drink poured on him from behind.

Jimbo turns to confront the mysterious pourer and the chant starts again. GO HOME JIM-BO! GO HOME JIM-BO! A guy named Woelfel sneaks in from having a cigarette and pantsed Jimbo, revealing filthy underpants. Jimbo hitched up the britches and left. The bar remained shit-free and everyone got a free drink.

[bonniesfan]

Do I even need to say it?

EXALT

[vinnypunditsheros]

I received this in a forward. Normally I disregard forwards, but this is entirely accurate except for the Irish part at the end. I think you'd need to have grown up in S. Buff to understand some of it, but if you've ever been there you'll understand some too.

You know you grew up in South Buffalo if:

You didn't know you needed tickets for a hockey game until they opened the new arena.

You choke at paying more than $2.25 for a beer.

You have been to a keg party on or under a bridge.

You walked to the Towne movies on Friday nights.

You hung out at the Seneca Mall.

You remember the medical park on OP Road when it was a drive-in.

No matter where you go you know the bartender, he knows you, and you get a free one.

When people ask where did you grow up (in South Buffalo)? You can give one of two answers. Parish or neighborhood. (Holy Family\ South park, St Tommys/ Abbott Road Etc.)

You schedule your summer vacations around lawn fetes.

You've seen the mini iceburgs in Caz Park or watched the ice chunks and water rise from the Stevenson St bridge.

You belong to a block club.

You attended the Turkey Bowl.

You ate your weight at The Ground Round.

You go to three different stores to buy three different things.

When you were a kid you never missed Sunday in the Park or Caz Carnival.

The legal age to enter a bar is 18.

You never missed a Saturday night at Brick Bar.

You feel there's no such thing as an open container law.

You know that 4:00 a.m. is the 'suggested' time to go home.

You've never missed a benefit.

At some point in your lifetime you've either cooked or delivered pizzas for a pizzeria.

You hung out at Caz Park, Tosh Collins, or behind Southside School every weekend in high school.

You ran from the police twice a night at any of those locations.

Griffin's is still Rory O'Shea's, Molly MCGuires is still Fleetwoods, Reilly's is still Pinterpes, Save-A-Lot's still Quality Plaza, and Potter's Field will always be the Golf Club.

You remember Rite-Aid as Mudds and Tanning Bed as Rite-Aid.

You rented movies from Rite-Aid (the old Rite-Aid)

You bought beer at Bond's, Como, or the Electric Store when you were 14.

The first person to turn 21 became universally known as "The Buyer."

You went sledding at the Botanical Gardens.

When you were bad, your parents threatened to take you to Father Baker's.

You played floor hockey and soccer at Tosh.

You do all your gambling at lawn fetes... unless you go play poker in the back of any given bar on any given night.

You had a racist grandmother.

You can point out the house where your racist grandmother grew up.

You can recite your times from the last five Shamrock Runs and Turkey Trots.

Instead of saying, "Let's go to (a bar)," you say "Let's go visit (whoever's bartending at that bar)."

You can say that about any given bar on any night of the week.

You're still made fun of if you didn't go to Timon or Mount Mercy.

You still consider yourself "Irish", even though your Irish roots can only be traced to your grandmother 5 generations removed. (I'm South Buffalo Irish!")

Your dress-me-up dinner attire consists of a flannel shirt and a baseball hat (actually make this your 24/7 attire).

You know how to get a South Park Graduate off your porch.
(pay him for the pizza.)

You make your way to the "Slime line or Nicks" at four thirty. For that matter you would actually eat at a place refered to as the "Slime Line".

You squeezed in to the Irish Center on Patty's Day

You jumped off the top of the Train Tressel at Hillary

You jumped off the sixth floor at Cargills , Mackies/Langdons

You fought with Canadians during Crystal Beach day

You fought with your friends if there wasn't anyone else to fight

Over a 3 yr period you went to 30 weddings, and as many wakes

You went to S Park Lake to get some.....from the opposite sex, not like it is today.

It’s Caz “Crick”

Your first job was summer youth.

You order pizza from one place and wings from another.

[333]

I got 24 of them (some are too recent for me), and I don't need to be made fun of. Did you ever guess in the beginning that I'm one of you?

[333]

Hey, Vinney - thanks for the link on your bickering post. I went to the site, and I found a thread there about South Buffalo. Someone posted some triva questions, and they brought back things I had forgotten about. I didn't know jack about the Holy Family stuff, but I remembered Millers bowling alley over the old Seneca show. There used to be a Woolworths on the ground floor, and as you walked around you could hear the bowling balls rolling over head. Who would ever have thought of putting a bowling alley on the second floor? You could even hear the pins in the movie theater sometimes.

I had forgotten about the stone arch bridge, too. That was kind of like the DMZ of South Buffalo. Seneca and Abbott road kids could all hang out there and get along - not that there was warfare among those groups, but there could be a certain tension if you didn't already know the other guys.

[vinnypunditsheros]

The Stone Bridge... I had many a Genny Light there.

It was far from a DMZ when I hung out back there. The trash from Seneca Street used to come over and try to pick fights. Stupid thug wiggers and their rap music! That rap music is ruining our youth. Pull your damned pants up, kids!

My buddies would just hang out and drink beer in the park. We'd build a fire and get hammered. It was the same thing every weekend, unless somebody threw a keg party back there. But the scumbags from Seneca would come over and act like hard asses. So their 'toughest' guy would knock down some little guy on our side, then one of us would end up scrapping with him. Then it would turn into a brawl. Those dirtbags would bust out the beer bottles and start smashing them on people. They fought dirty, but the good guys (that's us) always won.