Post by bonafide on Jul 15, 2020 17:13:17 GMT -5
I’ve really had sharting on my mind ‘cause of all the recent shart episodes that my hot, tight, creamy asshole endured due to my Cream Ale consumption. It got me thinking about a night in March,1967…… a little more than a month before the Dev Riot. It was the night Olean sharted.
So motherfucking Olean had been dumping its basically raw shit into the Allegheny River for years. SBU also dumped its shit into the Allegheny and had a small sewage “treatment” facility located between the rear of the Reilly Center and Plassman. This was several years before the advent of the EPA so absolutely everything and anything went into the Allegheny River. This also meant that Olean and SBU always smelled vaguely like shit back then.
Anyway, dumping shit and everything else into the Allegheny was going along just fine right up until when 3,000 gallons of gasoline somehow got dumped into the motherfucking Olean sewer system. And when the gas reached the Olean “treatment” plant that motherfucker promptly blew up scattering raw shit over a quarter mile and causing a massive stank throughout Olean. The explosion and resultant massive stank were the equivalents of a Level 1A Plus shart. Think of not shitting for a week and then quaffing three 40s of Cream Ale in a row and you’ve got something of an idea as to the Olean shart albeit on a tiny scale by comparison.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. My roommate Donny and I were in our crib on 4th Dev just back from quaffing a whole bunch of Genny (Red Label) at Club 17 and we heard a commotion out in the hall. That’s when we learned about the Olean shart. Seems like ROTC was involved in providing volunteers to assist with disaster recovery so Donny and I tossed on some of our ROTC shit and headed to Olean to see what the fuck was going on. Anyway, this entire motherfucking ROTC volunteer disaster recovery effort was laughable and right out of motherfucking Mayberry. Even more laughable was that the motherfucking Pershing Rifles… which was supposed to be like some sort of ROTC commando unit… took the lead. And none other than Pissah Pete… in all his Pershing Rifles regalia… was at the ROTC “command post” which was located in a horseshit furniture store on State Street. So Pissah Pete “briefs” me, Donny and a couple of others regarding our “mission” which was basically to stand at various empty intersections and watch out for anything amiss. What we were supposed to do if an incident occurred was never revealed so Donny and I found ourselves standing at a deserted intersection doing absolutely nothing.
Anyway, this got boring like really quick so Donny takes out some matches and starts lighting them off and dropping them down openings in a nearby manhole cover hoping that the motherfucking sewer would blow and send the manhole cover flying. Donny was always a very crazy person particularly when shitfaced like from our earlier Club 17 boozing. But nothing happens and Donny runs out of matches so we’re ready to book when Pissah Pete drives up and announces that he’s “inspecting his outposts.” So Pissah proceeds to get into an argument with me about me and Donny wanting to book and I’m getting ready to tell Pissah to fuck off. All the while Donny is being like really quiet and is standing kind of off to the side and a little behind Pissah. And then I see it ……..AND MOTHERFUCK IF DONNY ISN’T PISSING RIGHT ON PISSAH PETE’S MOTHERFUCKING LEG! I mean….. MOTHERFUCK! But Pissah Pete is ranting so bad he doesn’t even notice it until Donny taps him on the shoulder and informs Pissah Pete that he (Pissah) had just pissed himself. With that Donny and I totally crack up and we start calling Pissah Pete all kinds of names. So Pissah looks totally aghast and doesn’t say another word but runs like a motherfuck back to his car and burns a bunch of rubber peeling out.
There was nothing more left to do after all that so Donny and I caught a ride back to Dev and crashed. A couple of days later one of the ROTC officer faculty instructors catches me and Donny after an ROTC class we were both attending and asks us about the episode with Pissah Pete. Obviously, sonofabitch motherfucking Pissah had ratted us out. So, Donny and I both lie like a motherfuck and explain that Pissah had approached us ranting and raving and being like out of his motherfucking mind and then he went and pissed himself. We also informed this guy that Pissah was well known for routinely pissing himself and that he must have some sort of medical or mental problem or both. So, this guy goes ahead and profusely apologizes to us on behalf of ROTC and the Pershing Rifles for Pissah’s behavior. Anyway, it was all we could do to not bust a gut which absolutely happened when we made it back to Dev.
We never saw Pissah Pete again but we learned that he transferred out of SBU at the end of that semester because he had become such a huge campus-wide bufoon. Donny dropped out of SBU in the middle of the next (Fall) semester. Donny had a fucked-up family situation and was personally extremely crazy. He went to Canada to avoid the draft and was killed there in a motorcycle accident some years later. A couple of years after the Olean shart a bunch of ROTC stuff was burned down by unknown persons. The laughable Pershing Rifles also vanished along with horseshit mandatory ROTC. The Dev Riot took place a little more than a month after the Olean shart and that changed SBU forever.
So that’s the story about the night Olean sharted. There’s a few who will say “boooooshhheeeeiitt ‘fide…this Olean shart story ain’t nuthin’ but a huge motherfucking woof.” Well, here’s a link to an article from The BV that proves that it really did happen.
stbonaventure.advantage-preservation.com/viewer/?k=pershing%20rifles&i=f&by=1967&bdd=1960&d=04011967-04301967&m=between&ord=k1&fn=bona_venture_usa_new_york_st._bonaventure_19670407_english_6&df=1&dt=3Pissah!
Pissah!
Aloha!
So motherfucking Olean had been dumping its basically raw shit into the Allegheny River for years. SBU also dumped its shit into the Allegheny and had a small sewage “treatment” facility located between the rear of the Reilly Center and Plassman. This was several years before the advent of the EPA so absolutely everything and anything went into the Allegheny River. This also meant that Olean and SBU always smelled vaguely like shit back then.
Anyway, dumping shit and everything else into the Allegheny was going along just fine right up until when 3,000 gallons of gasoline somehow got dumped into the motherfucking Olean sewer system. And when the gas reached the Olean “treatment” plant that motherfucker promptly blew up scattering raw shit over a quarter mile and causing a massive stank throughout Olean. The explosion and resultant massive stank were the equivalents of a Level 1A Plus shart. Think of not shitting for a week and then quaffing three 40s of Cream Ale in a row and you’ve got something of an idea as to the Olean shart albeit on a tiny scale by comparison.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. My roommate Donny and I were in our crib on 4th Dev just back from quaffing a whole bunch of Genny (Red Label) at Club 17 and we heard a commotion out in the hall. That’s when we learned about the Olean shart. Seems like ROTC was involved in providing volunteers to assist with disaster recovery so Donny and I tossed on some of our ROTC shit and headed to Olean to see what the fuck was going on. Anyway, this entire motherfucking ROTC volunteer disaster recovery effort was laughable and right out of motherfucking Mayberry. Even more laughable was that the motherfucking Pershing Rifles… which was supposed to be like some sort of ROTC commando unit… took the lead. And none other than Pissah Pete… in all his Pershing Rifles regalia… was at the ROTC “command post” which was located in a horseshit furniture store on State Street. So Pissah Pete “briefs” me, Donny and a couple of others regarding our “mission” which was basically to stand at various empty intersections and watch out for anything amiss. What we were supposed to do if an incident occurred was never revealed so Donny and I found ourselves standing at a deserted intersection doing absolutely nothing.
Anyway, this got boring like really quick so Donny takes out some matches and starts lighting them off and dropping them down openings in a nearby manhole cover hoping that the motherfucking sewer would blow and send the manhole cover flying. Donny was always a very crazy person particularly when shitfaced like from our earlier Club 17 boozing. But nothing happens and Donny runs out of matches so we’re ready to book when Pissah Pete drives up and announces that he’s “inspecting his outposts.” So Pissah proceeds to get into an argument with me about me and Donny wanting to book and I’m getting ready to tell Pissah to fuck off. All the while Donny is being like really quiet and is standing kind of off to the side and a little behind Pissah. And then I see it ……..AND MOTHERFUCK IF DONNY ISN’T PISSING RIGHT ON PISSAH PETE’S MOTHERFUCKING LEG! I mean….. MOTHERFUCK! But Pissah Pete is ranting so bad he doesn’t even notice it until Donny taps him on the shoulder and informs Pissah Pete that he (Pissah) had just pissed himself. With that Donny and I totally crack up and we start calling Pissah Pete all kinds of names. So Pissah looks totally aghast and doesn’t say another word but runs like a motherfuck back to his car and burns a bunch of rubber peeling out.
There was nothing more left to do after all that so Donny and I caught a ride back to Dev and crashed. A couple of days later one of the ROTC officer faculty instructors catches me and Donny after an ROTC class we were both attending and asks us about the episode with Pissah Pete. Obviously, sonofabitch motherfucking Pissah had ratted us out. So, Donny and I both lie like a motherfuck and explain that Pissah had approached us ranting and raving and being like out of his motherfucking mind and then he went and pissed himself. We also informed this guy that Pissah was well known for routinely pissing himself and that he must have some sort of medical or mental problem or both. So, this guy goes ahead and profusely apologizes to us on behalf of ROTC and the Pershing Rifles for Pissah’s behavior. Anyway, it was all we could do to not bust a gut which absolutely happened when we made it back to Dev.
We never saw Pissah Pete again but we learned that he transferred out of SBU at the end of that semester because he had become such a huge campus-wide bufoon. Donny dropped out of SBU in the middle of the next (Fall) semester. Donny had a fucked-up family situation and was personally extremely crazy. He went to Canada to avoid the draft and was killed there in a motorcycle accident some years later. A couple of years after the Olean shart a bunch of ROTC stuff was burned down by unknown persons. The laughable Pershing Rifles also vanished along with horseshit mandatory ROTC. The Dev Riot took place a little more than a month after the Olean shart and that changed SBU forever.
So that’s the story about the night Olean sharted. There’s a few who will say “boooooshhheeeeiitt ‘fide…this Olean shart story ain’t nuthin’ but a huge motherfucking woof.” Well, here’s a link to an article from The BV that proves that it really did happen.
stbonaventure.advantage-preservation.com/viewer/?k=pershing%20rifles&i=f&by=1967&bdd=1960&d=04011967-04301967&m=between&ord=k1&fn=bona_venture_usa_new_york_st._bonaventure_19670407_english_6&df=1&dt=3Pissah!
Pissah!
Aloha!