Christmas Gift Ideas for us Bevelators

[s dot carter]

Every year at Christmas time I get bombarded with questions about what I want for Christmas. It just happened again 5 minutes ago while talking to my mother. The problem is I never know what I want.

So I figured a lot of you Bevelators probably don't share this problem and know exactly what you want. Please help me by sharing what you want and hopefully I'll steal some of your ideas.

I thought it would be fun to see what other Bevelators are asking for for Christmas.....

[thebonabus]

Same spot as you S Dot and worse is asking my parent sin return and getting the "we don't need anything, you just being home will be nice" reply. What happens if I don't bring them anything?

Anyway, here are a few small ideas:
- New Sabres Jersey
- $ymmetry Box Set
- Nice clothes (I'll buy it for myself some time, but good excuse to get more)
- iPod loaded with all of $ym's greatest hits
- Gift Cards
- Pontiac Sunfire circa 1998
- A new SBU diploma without Wick's signature

[doogiehowsermd]

How about this one:
Two years ago my parents literally didn't except my Christmas gifts I gave them because in the days leading up to and following XMas I pissed them off so much by coming home $hitcanned at 4am every night. This was right after I moved to Florida three days after getting arrested for DWI. They told me one morning, "We will pay for your flight back to Florida today if you just go...we don't want you here if you are going disrespect us like this!!! YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM AND YOU NEED HELP!!"---No shit. I stayed the rest of the time anyway but was on good behavior. Yeah I'm a douchebag.

[rimrocka44]

doogiehowsermd said:

How about this one:
Two years ago my parents literally didn't except my Christmas gifts...Yeah I'm a douchebag.

Good thing you teach history and not Engrish.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

Well ideally I would like cash. But my parents refuse to give me that. So I asked for gift cards. Mostly to Best Buy. I can get all the stuff I like there but can't afford to buy. Video games, DVDs, etc.

[s dot carter]

doogiehowsermd said:

How about this one:
Two years ago my parents literally didn't except my Christmas gifts I gave them because in the days leading up to and following XMas I pissed them off so much by coming home $hitcanned at 4am every night. This was right after I moved to Florida three days after getting arrested for DWI. They told me one morning, "We will pay for your flight back to Florida today if you just go...we don't want you here if you are going disrespect us like this!!! YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM AND YOU NEED HELP!!"---No poop. I stayed the rest of the time anyway but was on good behavior. Yeah I'm a douchebag.

Wow, I'm going to bring this story home for Christmas to show my parents what life could be like you bastard. Just playing, that sucks dude. It always takes something like that to really snap you out of it though.

Quick story, when I was 13 I was turning down the wrong path in my life. I was headed down the troubled teen highway, but I was still several exits away from a Maury boot camp episode. The week before my 14th birthday a friend and I were being retards throwing rocks at this douchebags house (who's the bigger douche I wonder?) and some guy came out of nowhere and started chasing us. My friend saw him sooner and was able to get enough of a head start to jump on his bike and take off. He was too close to me for that and I had to run right past it. He took my bike and put it in his garage.

Well, this punk ass 17 year old kid hears our story the next day and gives us the genius idea to report the bike stolen. So, being the retard I was, I called the police and reported it stolen. It turns out the guy who grabbed it was going on vacation so he called the police, told them what happened and dropped it off at the police station. Hours later, I describe my stolen bike while they stare at it. They immediately call my parents, we drive to the station and I end up grounded for a week. My parents are super pissed.

Fast forward one week to the day I am ungrounded. What a glorious day that was, remember? Well, me and the same punk ass friend decide to hop on our bikes and go to this weird barn behind a restaurant right outside of our neighborhood. We always wondered what the deal was with the barn and decided to break into it. While inside, we find all sorts of power tools and a telephone, which we use to make a couple 900 sex line calls. Then my friend finds a blowtorch and melts the phone. We hear a car pull up and head out of the backside of the barn. Luckily, the guy walked around the long side while we scurried around the short side of the barn. We jumped on our bikes (which were parked right next to his van) and took off to this girls house in our neighborhood.

Again, being the retards we were, we hear a bunch of cop cars and decide to ride past the restaurant to see what was going on. This is Dumb Criminal 101 for the Po-Po, who follow us back to this girls house and promptly arrest us on the spot. Not a good week for S Dot Carter. But it was made much, much worse when my mother, wearing an apron, shows up at the police station. She's crying and says, "I was baking your birthday cake for your party tonight." I'll never forget the look on their faces and how disappointed, not mad, they were at me. They were so disheartened by me they didn't even bother to ground me.

It was a real wake up call and I haven't been in trouble really since. Sorry if this story bored you, but as you can see, I was close to ending up in juvie back in the day.

[The Dull House]

HAHAHAHAHAH

YO LET'S GO MELT A PHONE!


THAT'S GREAT.


I ONCE THREW A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INTO THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY ROAD AND ALMOST KILLED SOMEONE BACK IN THE DAY.

BUT STILL, MELTING PHONES TAKES THE CAKE.

Thank God S Dot found floor hockey or else he'd be called P**pie D*ck for being in the slammer.

[thebonabus]

Since we are sharing stories, I got a good one to share about Secret Santa exchange.

In 8th grade, our class picked names out of a hat, only catch was guys picked guys, girls picked girls. Fair enough since most my classmates knew what each other liked. Guys it was mostly sports stuff, including myself. so as my classmates open their gifts, mostly sports cards or something I though was cool at the time, I get to mine. It is in a big rectangular box and moves when I shake it. I thought it was a few packs of sports cards, and was excited...as I open the package, to my amazement, a 500-piece puzzle of outer space. FUCKING AWESOME!

Flash forward to freshman year of HS. And I didn't think anything could top my SWEET puzzle. Same idea, names picked out of a hat, only this time we made a list at the back saying what each other liked and such. I wrote down something to do with sports. We get to our last day before break and our party. My Secret Santa hands me my gift. It's effing heavy and small. I open it, not knowing what the hell it is. To my delight, a 1994 ALMANAC!

I'd love to hear some other horror stories in this category, but I am not sure many could have such GREAT back-to-back gifts as I did.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

Sdot,

Priceless stories. I imagine I would have been in the same kind of trouble as you, but since I lived out in the country, most of my random destructive behavior went unnoticed except for my parents. Here's a short list of things I got in trouble for:

1. Cutting down a Christmas tree out of a tree farm in July and proceeding to drag it home.

2. Breaking my friends sister's window with a snowball that had dogpoop in the middle.

3. Shooting a flaming arrow at a gas soaked effigy of a kid from school we didn't like.

4. Melting toys with a heat gun (sdot's phone story reminded me of this)

5. Shaving my sisters's Sheerah doll's hair off.

6. prank calling the music teacher from high school on more than a few occasions

7. printing copies of a girls gradeschool birthday party invitation and adding that it was a kegger then posting copies all over school - got a call from the girls dad about this one (a lawyer no less)

I could go on and on, but these are just the first few instances that came to mind. I think all us bevelators probably caused a lot of mischief, but some of us just got caught a lot more.

***Edit - this list includes just gradeschool mischief. college stories have been discussed, and any other stuff could still be short of statutes of limitations and whatnot.

[vinnypunditsheros]

A buddy's mother moved out of the house and in with her boyfriend when we were in high school. His dad split long ago, which left the house in the hands of a sixteen/ seventeen year old. She still bought his groceries, including cigarettes, but he (meaning we) had an unsupervised party house.
One night we were heading back there from Caz Park around 2 a.m. and he frigged with a house near the park entrance. The toolbox kid that lived there opened the window and shot him with a paintball gun. Screaming and threats ensued, but we left without further incident... for a while.
Five hours later, the two of us returned drunk as hell with a bookbag full of empty beer bottles. It was daylight at this point. We stood at the end of his driveway and started whipping the empties at his car, spiderwebbing the shit out of his windshield.

Well, this car owner's mother called mine the next day. As luck would have it, by this point I was drinking at the party house again. My father shows up to find me sitting in a squalor house filled with naughty smoke, cigarette smoke, and empties everywhere. He drags me out of the house in front of my friends, to my house, and sits me at the kitchen table. They go over the previous night's events. He and my mother yell at me for quite some time. I try explaining that Tommy got shot, but my mom wanted no excuses. That's when she picked up the phone book from the kitchen table and cracked me over the head with it twice. Not the tiny family correspondence phone book... the fucking Nynex Yellowpages. She was unhappy that day.

This year, I asked Santa for new work shoes. Mine are beat up and have no traction anymore. I'd buy some myself but buying shoes for work is boring.

[CosmonautLaunchPad]

vinnypunditsheros said:

This year, I asked Santa for new work shoes. Mine are beat up and have no traction anymore. I'd buy some myself but buying shoes for work is boring.

I agree. I hate wasting money on work shoes. Luckily my dad and I have about the same size shoe, and he is a shopoholic. Yes, it can happen to dudes too. But usually only old bored ones like my dad. So he's got a closet full of them. He's only too happy to give them to me to clear out some room for more junk.

Also, when I find a pair of shoes I like I wear them till they fall apart. I have this pair of Bass shoes (not the fish) that are very comfortable. They are starting to look like hell, but I refuse to buy new ones.

[s dot carter]

Since we are sharing stories, I did another really stupid thing in my youth. If someone did this to me today I would want to General Tso's Chickening kill someone. In fact, when I think about this, I really get mad at myself. But anyways, I was with a different delinquent friend of mine and we found a can of gasoline in my garage. We took a plastic orange cone (pylon) from my garage, turned it over and filled it with gasoline (it didn't have a hole at the small end).

So we set out to see what kind of trouble we could cause. We ended up finding a car parked at the end of someone's driveway in a very dark part of the neighborhood and decided to put just a little gas on the top of the trunk and light it. The goal was not to set the car on fire, but rather just to watch the top of the trunk light up until the gas burned up. You can see where this is going....

We did it once with just a very little amount of gas and lit it. It flared up and we bolted like world class sprinters. But within 5 seconds it was out and unsatisfied, we went back for more. This time, we put a little more on the trunk and again, lit it. This time, it just ignited a small, blue flame that moved back and forth over the surface of the gasoline. So my buddy decides to just pour some more on the flame and it flared up big time. We booked again, running so fast my buddy clotheslined himself on someone's, well, clothesline.

Interested to see what happened and noticing no lights went on in the house, we went back to the scene again. As I approached the car it appeared the fire had gone out. But upon closer inspection, I could see an orange glow coming through the crack of the trunk and realized the inside was on fire. We ran like hell again and ditched the cone.

The next morning, I drove by and noticed a big pile of black burnt rubble in the driveway. I have no idea what burned inside of that trunk but I've felt awful about it ever since.

EDIT: I believe the statute of limitations has passed on this act of vandalism, but if not, replace the I with 'this kid I knew' throughout this whole story.

[thebonabus]

From expertlaw.com

Specific Civil Actions
The following periods represent a small sample of the statutory limitations periods in New York. Please note that it may be possible to bring multiple causes of action from a single incident of wrongful conduct, and thus even if it appears that the relevant statute of limitations has run it may remain possible to bring a different claim. Also, there may be an exception to the standard limitations period that applies to any given situation. The following list is provided by way of example. If you wish to know how the statute of limitations applies to a specific situation, you should verify the statutory time period and its relevance to your situation with a qualified New York lawyer.

Personal Injury: 3 years.
Fraud: 6 years.
Libel / Slander / Defamation: 1 year.
Injury to Personal Property: 3 years.
Product Liability: 3 years.
Contracts: 6 years.

[logan]

Man these stories are great! You guys were such rapscallions when you were growing up!

OK OK OK, I got one. This one time there was a girl I was sort of dating for a couple weeks. Then one day, my good pal told me he saw her making out with some other dude. So to get back at her, I fucking killed myself. Ha ha ha! I showed her!

[doogiehowsermd]

"It always takes something like that to really snap you out of it though. "


Who says I snapped out of it?